the life of a toddler

8 Sep

Mom: Ugh, Fenway (the cat) peed in her playroom
Me: Fen peed in my playroom?
Mom: Yeah, sorry sweetie, let Daddy clean it up. He is a bad kitty
Me: He’s a bad kitty?
Mom: Yep, bad kitty
Me: Meow, meow I’m a kitty!
***3 minutes later***
Mom: Kyler, why are you wet? Did you pee?
Me: Yeah
Mom: Why??? Why didn’t you tell me you had to go?
Me: I’m a kitty too. I peed in the playroom!

***

 I need 2 cookies, I have 2 fingers

***

Me: You need some sunscreen? Here you go (dab Mom’s face). Beep beep
Me: You need sunscreen too Daddy? Here you go (dap Dad’s face). Beep beep
Continue for 30 minutes at 10 o’clock at night while on vacation

***

Me: (Hudson pulled a chunk of my hair out- crying). I need to use my phone to call Mamma and Poppa. 
Me on fake phone: Hello, Mamma and Poppa? Hudson he pulled my hair it hurt, okay Mamma? Goodbye.

***

 I need to catch a fishy. I need to catch a turtle too.

***

Dad: Kyler, when I say “We Are! You say Penn State!”
Mom: Nooo, Kyler say Go Knights!
Dad: Nooo go Penn State
Mom: Kyler say we like the Knights, Penn State is booo
Me: Go Knights!!!
Dad: Noooo, say Go Penn State!
Me: No Daddy, I don’t like Penn Steak, Penn Steak is yucky, it’s dirty
Dad: No, Penn State Kyler… not Penn Steak
Me: I don’t like Penn Steak. Go Knights!

Fast forward to game day

Me: Yayy Go Penn State and Go Knights!

***

***

I’m crazzzyyy

This is my Ammo Bud

You guys ready?

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