Tag Archives: craig drabyk

One Year

22 Feb

It’s been one year.

There is still not a day that goes by where I don’t think about him, what happened, what should be, and what the reality really is. It’s not an easier today than it was a year ago, I have just learned to cope with it.

Craig, we all miss you and love you. More than anything, I wish Kyler could meet you now and get to know you. I wish you could meet Hudson. Every time I think about my kids not knowing their Uncle Craig it feels like a kick in the gut over and over.I know you are watching down over all of us and we will all be together soon. Until then, God Bless my larger than life brother. May you rest in peace.

Craig Thomas Drabyk
March 23, 1975 – February 22, 2013

Throwback Thursday

20 Feb

2012

The last photo I have of Craig and Kyler. I had no clue it existed until after he passed away and we were going through the pictures on his phone. I wish more than anything that he was still here today to see how big his niece is and so she could get to know her Uncle Craig.

6 Months later…

22 Aug

It’s been 6 months to the day that my brother Craig passed away. There isn’t one day, one hour, one minute that goes by that I don’t think about him. He still makes appearances in my dreams and while it’s amazing to feel like he is still here, it’s a harsh reality to wake up to. It isn’t any easier today than it was 6 months ago. The shock is somewhat gone (I say somewhat because I still find myself thinking this can’t be real) but the all the emotions are still strong and present. I am sad, angry, confused, and every other word that you can think of when someone you love passes away unexpectedly.

While I didn’t see him everyday or talk to him every week, he was still a big part of my life. Celebrating Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and birthdays have been tough and I know this holiday season won’t be any easier. I think about how much my daughter has changed in 6 months and how much he would really enjoy her now.  She has been puckering her lips a lot lately and it reminds me of Craig. He would also pucker his lips when he was thinking. It was subtle but I always remember him doing that. I catch myself doing that sometimes. Funny that Kyler has picked it up. The other day she pointed at his picture and asked “who that?” and I told her Craig. In true 19 month fashion, she repeated “Craig” and it pretty much broke my heart.

It’s frustrating to me that he is no longer here. While he didn’t live the most healthy lifestyle, it was still far too early for him to go. How can a 37-year-old man pass away from a heart attack? Yes, heart attack; not an accidental overdose as some of his so-called “friends” claimed after his passed. Craig has so many great friends and people who love him but I did find it interesting how some people reacted after he passed. Everyone became his bestest and closest friend. I like to take that as a compliment of my brother’s character. That he was such a good friend that people just connected with him. I do wonder how many of those people really knew the real Craig. Not the person he was the past few years but the guy deep down. He was such a larger than life personality but he definitely had a side to him that he didn’t show a lot of people. I am not saying this to undercut some of the relationships he built in his life, just that it was interesting to see how many people he was close to. The pastor made an interesting comment to my parents and I before his service; he said that the family are the ones who need the support the most yet they are the ones that become the counselors.  That everyone will unload their emotions unto us. He was so right. It’s just how it is. It’s not good nor bad, just the truth.

It hasn’t been easier for us. It’s been pretty much hell. I miss my brother. I can’t really talk to my other brother Josh for reasons I care not to discuss so it’s just been me. The pressure feels like an elephant on my shoulders at times but it’s life. I know it could be worse and I do have so many wonderful and positive things in my life. I know that Craig is still with me and I will hold the memories I have with him forever. It’s just hard.

Tomswedding

Craig, I love you. Miss you. Think about you always.

I hope you are resting in peace.

Craig Thomas Drabyk

3 Mar

A little over a week ago, February 22nd to be exact, I received a phone call that changed my life forever; my oldest brother, Craig, passed away unexpectedly.

Craig was 11 years older than me. He was the big older brother, the protector, and larger than life personality in the family. Even though we were so far apart in age, I always felt like he and I were more alike than we both cared to mention. He would do anything for those he cared about and really anybody in need, period. Being the older brother, he would tend to think he was also wiser which I personally didn’t agree with so at times, we butted heads (what brother and sister doesn’t). We were starting to get to know each other as adults more and more but I still wish we were able to get closer than we were.

Through the tough exterior, I know he really cared for his little sister and I know he adored his niece Kyler. I think that part may be the hardest for me to come to grips with. My little girl won’t get to know her Uncle Craig. It will be my job to make sure she grows up and knows who he is and how much he loved her and I will make sure she knows that. My future children/child will not get to meet their Uncle Craig and he will not get to meet them. That is extremely hard for me to think of as well.

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We had a beautiful memorial service for him on Friday and so many of his close friends and family came out to celebrate his life. It was very touching to say the least. He had so many people around him who cared for him and it reminded me how good of a person he really was.

As my family and I begin to move forward with our lives, we will never forget all of the memories we shared with him. I know for myself personally, this will take sometime to fully understand what happened. By the time we had his service, I think I was just so emotionally drained that I found myself not really all there. I think my mind keeps trying to escape and stay busy so I don’t have to think about what really happened but I know it is all a part of the grieving process.

As I was driving alone yesterday, I said to myself, out loud, Craig, please let me know you are okay. Please let me know that everything is going to be all right and that you are at peace. The next song to immediately come on the radio was Gary Allan’s “Every Storm Runs Out of Rain.” Craig loved country music. I know it could be a big coincidence but I like to think of it as a sign and him looking down on me and letting me know that eventually, things will be better.

Craig, I miss you more than words can even begin to describe. Mom and Dad are two of the strongest people I know and they will get through this. Josh and I will always be your little brother and little sister and we will always be a family of 5. Please watch over your family and friends during this extremely difficult time while we all deal with you not being here physically. You will always be with me in spirit and I love you.

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*****

Craig Thomas Drabyk

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March 23, 1975 – February 22, 2013

Rest In Peace big brother.

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